Freakin' Winchester Luck
by The-Turducken-Affairs
Summary: Is it too soon for this? Yeah, probably. But oh well. Here's a somewhat humorous, but mostly just random what was I thinking, piece for 9x23. Hopefully you realize this, but, y'know, spoilers for 9x23. In which Sam gets drunk and has a weird dream that helps him work through some things.


**Disclaimer: Supernatural ain't mine.**

**Alrighty guys, don't read this if you haven' seen 9x23 AKA the worst thing in the world. Evar.**

**Anyways, this season finale is breaking my mind and my heart, so I wrote this.**

**Warning: Spoilers for 9x23. Not entirely accurate or all that plausible.**

* * *

Dean died.

He was stabbed in the chest by an angel who Sam first mistook for a transformer. Seriously, Sam was super upset about that.

He had felt, with every fiber of his being and as if it was being carved into his own chest, that the world had thrown him overboard. From the moment he came to, after Dean had so sportingly knocked him out (again), to the moment he found Dean gushing blood and dying, Sam couldn't breathe. He held his breathe, as if that could somehow fix Dean. Like, if I can make it without breathing, Dean can make it too.

It gets a little foggy from there, being a traumatic memory and all, but Sam does remember clinging to Dean, holding him up with a strength Dean had outmatched just earlier that day.

Sam said all the big lies, like, "We'll find you a doctor" and "You're gonna be okay." Of course, Dean knew better than Sam just how untrue that was. Sam can imagine that Dean felt the skin from his opened chest get pushed aside by the gushing of blood from his slowing, but beating heart, which is generally a giveaway to the fact that one is distinctly _not okay_ and that there ain't no doctor that can fix this.

But Sam, he had a desperation that makes something _have_ to be true, even if it isn't.

Still, turns out that Sam doesn't have much of a say in what happens to people who were knifed in the chest.

The only reason Sam was able to move from that spot after Dean had up and stopped breathing was that Sam has done it before. Sam has dealt with Dean dying so many times and lived on- every Tuesday, the months after the following Wednesday, when Dean went to Hell, the year Sam had thought he was completely and utterly alone for the rest of his life (when it turned out Dean was in Purgatory)- that Sam knows the next steps all too well.

He has to take Dean (not his body, but _Dean_) to the bunker and fix this, just like he promised Dean they could. He has to summon Crowley, make a deal, make a threat, whatever it takes.

Except. Except, this is permanent. And by "this," Sam does not mean that Dean is dead. Worse, he means that Dean is a demon. Because yes, the Winchesters are cursed and the Mark of Cain is a literal testament to this.

Sam, inevitably, came back to Dean like a dog a leash, took one look at Dean's big, opened, **black** eyes and did the only thing he could think of. Ran like hell. He didn't really get that far, because his brain activity had taken control from his lapse into little girl instincts and then Sam came up with a plan. Granted, it's not a very good plan (not even a little bit), but it's a plan.

Sam prayed to Castiel and set about making sure Dean was good and locked up. Then, Sam drank all of the alcohol he could find and fell asleep after hours of blankly staring at Dean's Walkman (which had been left out on the research table because Dean was, is?, very untidy) in a drunken stupor.

It is important to note that Sam has a very curious way of dealing with stress. No one knows, but when he falls asleep after particularly difficult times, there is one person that makes their way into dreamland to comfort him. Lucy.

Yes, Lucy is actually Lucifer and an absolutely psychotic sadist who took particular joy in tearing chunks of flesh out of Sam's soul in the Cage at that, but he's got a way of putting things into perspective.

For instance, if Sam were to have been particularly disturbed about that time when Dean lied to Sam, making him think that Amelia was in trouble and having images of her burning on the ceiling appear within his mind, Lucifer was there in a dream to say, "Well, at least nobody shoved her in a Cage she was only able to escape from after a millennium of plotting her way out of. Thanks for that, by the way."

Now though, what is particularly distressing to Sam is that his brother is a demon.

With that rattling around upstairs (his brain), Dream Sam is startled by Dream Lucifer (an altogether different thing than Halucifer and much less torturous to be around).

"What's got little Sammy running to dear old Lucy this time around?" Dream Lucifer says, standing behind Dream Sam and wrapping his arms around him (Dream Lucifer is extremely affectionate and mildly discomforting).

Dream Sam throws back a Dream beer at the Dream bar that he appeared in, and says heavily, "M'brother's a demon."

Dream Lucifer loosens his grip on Dream Sam and lets out a startled huff.

"You're shitting me!" And Dream Lucifer says that like this is any ordinary conversation between coworkers, or drinking buddies, or something else that is significantly less important than this.

Dream Sam doesn't get upset, because emotions don't work that way in dreams. He just sets his Dream beer down within the Dream expanse of open space and floats alongside Dream Lucifer and Dream stars.

Sam sighs and says, "It's true."

"Wow. That must be pretty great."

Even Dream Sam can't not question that sentiment, so he questions it.

"What?"

Dream Lucifer gives Sam a friendly punch, the force of which pushes Dream Sam into a barreling stream of Dream speed and Dream star zipping by. This is only stopped when Dream Sam rushes bodily into an extremely soft Dream polar bear, which he then sinks into like a mattress when Dream gravity turns the direction he is facing into the direction of down. Dream Lucifer lands much more delicately beside him and says, "Well, yeah. Think about how much you have in common now."

"Huh?"

"Come on Sam, don't be blubbering idiot. This is just like the time when you got high off of demon blood and loaded up with teenage mutant ninja turtle power."

Dream Sam thinks about it. Maybe it's the fact that he's a pretty relaxed Dream version of Sam, or maybe it's that he still feels drunk, or maybe he's just gotten used to insanity, but it makes sense.

The mark started to change Dean into this angry thing he didn't want to become (he said so himself, he said, "_The mark. It's making me into something I don't wanna be_."), just like the blood turned Sam into an angry revenger (rather than avenger, not that he was ever recruited by Nick Fury. Seriously, why not? He's big, buff, tall, and handsome. Yeesh.).

Dean wanted to kill the all-powerful Messenger of God while Sam wanted to kill the all-powerful first demon.

Dean's eyes turned black (albeit, this is looking like it's going to be a more permanent thing) and Sam's eyes turned black (for, like, a second, but apparently that's still a big deal).

Dream Sam says slowly, each word gaining more and more enthusiasm, "Yeah. I guess you're right!"

Dream Sam is starting to feel a little better about all this when Dream Lucifer tacks on the comment, "Besides, it's not like nobody saw this coming."

"Huh?"

"Geesus Sam, you're turning into a real bozo. Think about it! Dean's already got a serious hard on for anger and pain, he's a little too handy with a knife, and he's the id to your ego. Talk about a perfect candidate for demon conversion."

Again, Dream Sam thinks that maybe it's the fact that he's a pretty relaxed Dream version of Sam, or maybe it's that he still feels drunk, or maybe he's just gotten used to insanity, but it makes sense.

Dream Sam lets Dream Lucifer have that one and gives his acquiescence, "Huh. I guess so."

Dream Lucifer beams at that, his whole smile lighting up the place and making the dream polar bear fizzle away. They both fall to the ground, which has turned into beach sand to match the lighting, with an 'oof'.

Dream Sam looks Dream Lucifer in the eyes, says cheerily, "Thanks Lucy! That was a real help. I feel so much better now."

Dream Sam can tell that he's going to wake up and turn into real Sam any minute now. It looks like Dream Lucifer can tell too, because he adds on one final thing.

He says, "You and Dean should totally have some brotherly bonding time over how you guys are such terrible people that you know what it's like to be demonic."

Real Sam wakes up real life nodding to Dream Lucifer. It's been less than five minutes since Real Sam fell asleep, but he doesn't realize that. Also, he is still super wasted.

So, because he's totally drunk and not entirely sure what is dream and what isn't, he blearily walks into the kitchen and opens the fridge. He pulls out two beers and goes for where he has Demon Dean locked up.

The room is dark and lined with sigils. Demon Dean is looking _very_ evil with his eyes all black and his face lined with frown lines.

Real Sam says, "n'ce fa." And Real Sam does not at all pronounce the 'I' from 'nice,' or the 'ce' from 'face.'

Demon Dean looks like a mix of disgusted and perturbed. Then, and Real Sam is not sure if this is an act or Real Dean fighting his new Demon Dean nature, Demon Dean's face morphs into concern and he yells, "Get away from me Sammy! I don't want to hurt you!"

If Real Sam were not drunk, the ambiguous sentiment behind that would probably pain him. As it is, Real Sam _is_ drunk and does not at all like the loudness in Demon Dean's voice.

Real Sam says grumpily, "Aw, put a cork in it, Demon Dean."

That seems to snap Demon Dean out of whatever he was going to do next, because he jerks a little to the side, his big, black, super creepy eyes making direct eye contact with Sam's normal, squishy, human eyes.

Demon Dean asks, almost disapprovingly, "Are you drunk, Sam?"

Real Sam stands up to his full height. He puts his hands on his hips and bobs his head side to side in what he thinks is an incredibly impressive way, but is actually feminizingly sassy.

Real Sam says, "_Nooo_. I'm Real Sam."

Which does not even a little bit answer Demon Dean's question, but Real Sam is way too caught up in congratulating himself on coming up with that (not really) retort to notice.

Demon Dean sighs and says as if is speaking to an especially dimwitted child (which is, comparatively, pretty on par to "Real" Sam's mental abilities right now), "So, "Real" Sam, are you drunk?"

And though Real Sam responds with some a little more on target, his response is still a little lacking.

"So?! Whatcha gonna do about it, stupid face?"

The thing to keep in mind is that, for a some time now and even before becoming a demon, Dean has been dealing with some aggression and being keyed up. With that said, Real Sam's sassiness strikes some sort of nerve within Demon Dean and he responds without much restraint.

He jerks forward, not too far though because he's restrained, and growls, his face contorted menacingly. He threatens Real Sam, saying, "I could rip through your ribs and pull up your intestines. That's 'what I could do about it'."

Real Sam is endearingly slow, painfully unaware of any possible dangers, and blatantly still incredibly drunk, so he doesn't react much.

He just blows a raspberry at Demon Dean and says, "Shut up, ugly twizzler eyes." When Real Sam says that, he is thinking about black twizzlers, a food that he already doesn't like except then made worse by being black licorice flavored.

Real Sam starts to ease himself down onto the floor right next to the entrance he has been standing in and tosses Demon Dean one of the beers.

He continues, "We're like twinsies now, no threatening your twin."

Demon or not, anyone would be curious as to how Sam has deemed them 'twinsies,' so Demon Dean has no choice but ask, "Twinsies?"

Real Sam laughs, a little too gleefully given the circumstances but perfectly defendable in his own mind. He says, "Yeah. You're a demon or whatever now, and I've got demon blood in me. Twinsies."

Then Real Sam lifts his beer up, tilted towards Demon Dean. Demon Dean responds in kind and they drink to being twinsies.

They pass a portion of the night drinking and making conversation.

Demon Dean is more interested in participating with a combination of threats and lectures, saying things like, "If you don't sit up while you're drinking, I might have to rip off your hand sew it onto the stump where you won't have a foot any longer."

Real Sam is content to say stupid things, but this eventually turns into drunken ramblings from his encyclopedia brain of weird. An example of this would be, "Hey. Hey! Hey Demon Dean, did you know that… Did you know that there is a whale who called out for its mate for twenty years but… but no- no one responded because its voice was too high pitched for other whales to hear?"

And this is how the night went on, until Real Sam fell into an alcohol induced coma, muttering about Lucy and how she was not at all home, while Demon Dean stared creepily and intensely at Real Sam while he dreamed.

Of course, this was just a momentary lapse in judgment on human and demon sides alike and not at all what the future would look like for the most part. In the end, the real, burning question is: What is to become of all the angst and drama that will arise from Demon Dean being a demon?

Well, that is for another day; maybe not even tomorrow, because Sam will be fantastically hung over.


End file.
